The way we carry ourselves can make all the difference in how people perceive us. A confident posture and quick, decisive movements can make you seem charismatic and self-assured, while mumbling responses and fidgeting hands might make people think you’re nervous or insecure. Here are some tips on how to instantly put yourself in a position of power by following these simple rules of etiquette:
1. Maintain eye contact
You can gain respect from others by holding eye contact. According to the book The Fine Art of Small Talk, maintaining eye contact for at least 3-5 seconds is an indicator of respect. It’s also a sign that you are listening and understanding what they say, which makes it much more likely that they will feel respected and thus want to respect you in return.
When speaking with someone, try not to break eye contact until he or she does first (if this happens). Once you know that your conversational partner is comfortable with you looking at them during a conversation, try holding his or her gaze for longer periods of time—such as when asking questions or giving a speech.
2. Make someone else feel comfortable.
The first thing to remember is that you are not the center of the universe. You have needs and wants, but so does everyone else. If someone is expressing discomfort in the conversation or their surroundings, it may be because you’re not making them feel comfortable. Be a good listener and don’t interrupt people when they speak. Don’t be judgmental, negative or too serious; instead, try to keep an open mind towards new ideas and experiences—the best way to make a person feel at ease is by being open-minded yourself!
3. Walk like you have purpose.
Walk like you have purpose. Walk with your head held high, shoulders back and legs shoulder width apart. Keep your hands in a relaxed position behind your back as much as possible, as this will make people respect you more (and help them see that you’re not nervous).
If we were to describe a person who walks like they are confident, these would be their characteristics:
- They walk with their eyes looking straight ahead
- They don’t slouch or shuffle their feet when walking
- Their arms swing naturally at their sides when they walk
4. Don’t gossip.
Gossiping is a sign of insecurity. It’s also a sign of immaturity and bad character. Gossiping is rude, and it shows people your bad manners.
If you want to instantly make someone respect you, don’t gossip about them behind their backs or to their faces. When people respect each other, they never feel the need to talk about each other behind their backs—because they know what’s going on already!
5. Don’t talk about yourself too much.
The most important thing to remember when talking to someone is that you don’t want to be a braggart. A lot of people are going to be impressed by you, so it’s tempting to start talking about yourself, but you should avoid this at all costs. Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with bragging or being proud of your accomplishments. However, if you spend the whole time talking about yourself and what makes you special—or even worse, if you try too hard not to mention how awesome it is that other people should be impressed by your awesomeness—then nobody will want to talk with you anymore.
Some people will try very hard not to talk about themselves at all; they think this makes them seem humble and unassuming (which may well be true). But in practice it just comes across as awkward because these friendly gestures can feel forced and unnatural. Think back on any time someone has asked how things were going for them lately; did they actually care? Or were they just making small talk? If they didn’t care then why would anyone else?
6. Be a good listener.
When you are talking to someone, it is easy to become so focused on what you want to say that the other person becomes an interruption. However, in order for people to respect you, they need to feel like they have your undivided attention. This is why being a good listener is essential in building respect from others. Good listening involves paying close attention and actively seeking out information that may not be readily available by asking questions before they are finished speaking. By doing this, you show that their opinions matter and provide the opportunity for them to speak their mind without fear of being interrupted or dismissed as unimportant or irrelevant. You also show respect by keeping eye contact with the person while he or she speaks (as opposed to looking around), nodding periodically when appropriate and making sure not let your mind wander off into its own world during conversation with another person (even if what he/she has said isn’t all that exciting).
7. Stand up straight.
The first thing people notice about you is your posture. When you’re standing or sitting, make sure that your head is held high and not slumped forward, as this can make you seem tired and uninterested in what’s going on around you. Don’t cross your arms over your body or keep them in front of you like a shield—these both make it look like there’s something to hide. It also helps if you keep one foot slightly in front of the other so that you’re balanced on both feet at all times.
Finally, remember not to slump when sitting down! This will make others think that they are more important than they actually are (and thus cause them to respect and admire them).
8. Be decisive and make plans.
If you’re not decisive, people will walk all over you. If you have no plans, they’ll make them for you. To avoid this situation, make plans with people and stick to them. When someone asks if you want to do something, say yes or no immediately (not “I’ll think about it”). Don’t leave anyone wondering what your next move is—they’ll take advantage of any hesitation on your part.
Also remember that saying no can be just as powerful as saying yes; sometimes it’s best not to commit yourself until absolutely certain that something is the right decision for you. But if a proposal seems like a good fit and has potential benefits for everyone involved (including yourself), then go ahead and commit! Just remember: being decisive is an asset so long as your decisions are wise ones—and there are many ways in which an impulsive person will make unwise decisions simply because they’ve never learned how to think before acting or speaking up
9. Be centered, not scattered.
- Get organized.
To be respected, you must be centered and focused. A planner can help you stay on track with your work and life goals. The more organized you are, the easier it will be to manage your time effectively, which will make others respect your ability to accomplish everything that needs to get done in a timely manner.
- Be on time.
Being late is disrespectful because it shows a lack of respect for other people’s time as well as their needs and desires for punctuality. If someone expects you at 10am, don’t show up at 11am or later; this habit shows a disregard for what others are willing or able to do with their day—and if they’re busy when you arrive late without warning them first (or apologize after), then they’ll likely resent having been inconvenienced by your actions—and thus begin giving less importance toward whatever it was they had planned beforehand due to being upset about something else happening unexpectedly during their day instead (“Oh no! Now we have another thing we have toget done earlier than expected”).
10. Avoid the temptation to be dramatic or extraverted.
You may think that the more bold and assertive you are, the more respect you will receive. This is incorrect. While it’s true that people will be more likely to respect your efforts, if you’re not comfortable with yourself, it will show and others won’t take your leadership seriously. If you are relaxed and confident in who you are as a person, however, people will feel much more comfortable around you because they know that they can trust your decisions and opinions.
You don’t have to be dramatic or extraverted in order to earn respect; in fact, these qualities often come across as insecure or desperate for attention. Instead of running around telling everyone how great of an accomplishment something was (or making up false stories about how amazing something was), try simply saying “thank you.” People who do this tend not only appear humble but also seem worthy of being listened to by their peers—they don’t need constant reminders of their greatness because they feel confident enough just being themselves!
People will see you as confident, self-assured, and charismatic if you follow these simple rules of etiquette.
You might be wondering how to make yourself seem more confident and self-assured. Here are some tips:
- Don’t be afraid to be assertive. It’s OK to stand up for yourself and your ideas. If you need something, ask for it. If someone disagrees with you, don’t back down or apologize just because they disagree with you or get angry at you—it’s not your fault that they’re angry! You don’t want them getting upset about something that isn’t even your fault!
- Don’t be afraid to take the lead on projects or events. If people ask for help with a project or event, offer your services! This will make them think of you as an asset when making plans in the future—and who doesn’t love an asset?
- Don’t be afraid to make plans with friends (or any other people). Make plans on nights out, weekends away from home…just put yourself out there! People will always appreciate being invited along on adventures rather than being left alone at home while their friends go out without them; after all, there aren’t many things worse than being left alone at home when everyone else is having fun without you in another city/country/state/etcetera
Now that you’ve learned these tips, go out and use them! Remember that some of these will be more effective than others depending on the situation and the people involved. But even if you’re not sure if a certain behavior will work for you, it won’t hurt to try it out on someone else first before trying it out in real life. The most important thing is to keep practicing until you feel comfortable with all of these rules so that they become second nature—and then watch as people begin treating you with respect!